| Dear Agony
Uncle,
My wife had a picture
taken of herself at my friend's house (while I was
at work). In this picture, she is posing looking
over her shoulder, arm on the door frame, in a
skimpy short skirt and a black bra - and no top.
I am ready to kill her,
except I'm at work until around 2:30am. I think
I'm gonna yank her out of bed & beat her butt
when I get home.
I'm gonna have to have a
talk with him. He's been a friend for around 9
years. I really hate to think that this may cause
bad blood between us, but so be it if it happens.
If I report it (and I may, after I get my tools
back from him), he could lose access to computers.
That would cost him his job, as he is the
Technical Department Manager for the local school
district.
Apparently, this picture
is posted on her friend's MySpace homepage for all
God's creation to see. She's not nude, but close
enough.
Totally Livid in
Southern California
Dear Totally Livid,
I
understand your feelings regarding the picture,
you don't say how old you or your wife are. But
obviously if you don't look at the root of the
problem then you really only have yourself to
blame. As I see it you are at work for far too
long, and spending what should be prime time
with your wife, in the company of your
work colleagues. Your wife may feel neglected
and unloved by your late or unusual working
hours and is seeking attention from others to
compensate. Your friend obviously is there, and
giving her the attention she should be getting
from you. Blaming your wife for her actions is
not the answer here, nor is throwing a tantrum,
as this too is getting her the attention she so
craves. Any attention is better than none.
Blaming the friend either is also not the
answer. Finding work that allows you home to be
with your wife could go a long way to mending
this problem provided you act quickly enough.
You say she wasn't naked or actually topless,
just a little provocative, so could be just a
bit of innocent fun, so treading carefully here
may save a friendship and a marriage.
Hope this helps
Oaky
Dear Oaky,
I've cooled things down with my boyfriend for
a while because he wants me to play strip poker
with him and his mates. Why does he want other men
to see what he does? Do you think I should do it
or dump him?
T. K. Kansas
USA
My Dear T. K.
I'd tell him to grow up, you are not a new toy to
show off, for his friends pleasure. You have feelings
and if he thought anything of you, then he
wouldn't ask in the first place. If you do decide to
go along with him, remember, it is your emotions and
reputation he'll be hurting not his.
Best regards
Oaky
Dear Agony
Uncle,
I have a problem. I just
can't talk to anyone, and then I saw your profile
on The Corner. I really hope you can help me. I
have been married for seven years. Our marriage
has been okay from the beginning. The problem
started when a few months ago, I met another man.
He's single. I immediately fell in love with him.
I can't explain it. It is as though I have met my
soul mate. We were friends for a while but my
feelings were so strong for him that I told him I
loved him. He told me that he loved me too. We are
perfect together. We enjoy each other's company
and when we are together we are one. I want to
leave my husband and marry him. I just know that
we belong together. I couldn't bear to lose him. I
know we were meant to be together. Please help me.
A.B. from N.Y.
USA
Dear A.B.
My dear, you have left
quite a few unanswered questions. I believe that
you are in a situation where you must make the
correct decision. Failing to do this could
literally destroy the remainder of your life.
Firstly, you don't know this man very well, as you
state you met him only a few months ago. Make sure
this is not just infatuation. Please do not jump,
as the proverbial saying goes, from the frying pan
into the fire. One very important question I have
is, did you love your husband when you married
him? Has the relationship become stale? Love is
the key word here. True love. We have two possible
scenarios. You either loved your husband and your
relationship is stale, thereby causing you to look
elsewhere, or you never loved your husband,
married him for whatever reason, and now you may
have, indeed, met your true soul mate. You hold
the answer my dear. There is no need to rush. Be
certain of where you stand. First and foremost, I
advise that you get to know this man. Find out
what makes him tick. Most importantly find out
where your heart is. Wherever your heart is, that
is where you must be. Make sure of who you really
love and when you are sure, go to him. Love is the
most important thing in life. Once you have met
your true soul mate, don't let him go. My dear,
answer these questions and search your soul. When
you know the answers, follow your heart.
My very best wishes to
you,
Oaky
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