HEALTH
INSURANCE? I WISH
by
Luella MayŠ2006
It was early November, Wednesday evening, I was at
church. Just another evening and everything was perfectly fine. I was in
perfect health. I Talked to everyone as I usually do, hugged the elderly
ladies, told Mrs. Pettigrew how beautiful she looked that evening, and she
told me how special I was because her mother's name had been
"Luella." I did the exact same thing I do virtually every
Wednesday and Sunday evening.
After I got home and had been working on the computer
for a little while, I started to become uncomfortably cold. I started
freezing. I then thought I would get snug under the Down comforter and go
to sleep. I snuggled up under the comforter, became as warm as I possible
could, and then drifted off to sleep. I had also developed a piercing
headache that went from the top of my forehead down my neck and spine, so
I took two extra strength Excedrin's before I laid down.
I didn't sleep well all night though, I was up
constantly, as I felt I needed to go to the bathroom. But I felt terrible.
I had the same crashing headache, I had no balance. As I made my way to
the bathroom, I would hold on to the furniture so I wouldn't fall. I would
lose my balance and fall against the walls, all the while feeling worse
than I ever remember feeling in my life. Every time I got up I would take
two more Extra Strength Excedrin's to try to calm that most awful piercing
headache that by now, I could hardly tolerate.
I woke at 7:30 AM the next day, not feeling myself at
all. Again, that piercing splitting headache from my forehead down the
spinal cord. Again, I felt that I must go to the bathroom, but this time
something was really wrong. This time, I simply could not get up. I felt
very ill, almost like I might prefer to die. I wanted to either get well
immediately or die immediately, but not stay in this state for any length
of time. I simply could not get up no matter how hard I tried. I tried to
cry for help, but all I could do was make a kind of grunt. Oh, and that
same awful piercing headache! Now I was totally ill. I didn't know what
was happening. I was feeling very, very bad. That's all I knew. Luckily,
my husband who was in the computer room had heard the grunts and wondered
what was going on. He came in to find me convulsing. In a panic, he
yelled, "GET UP!"
"Oh, what a horrid sound," I thought.
"Just leave me alone. "GET UP!" I heard him yell again.
"Stop yelling," I thought.
"IF YOU DON'T GET UP, I'M GOING TO PULL YOU
UP!" he shouted. At this point I was so nauseous. He pulled me up.
'TAKE THIS TYLENOL!" Now I'm heaving. And he wants me to take
Tylenol? I managed to answer "I'm going to throw it up." "I
DON'T CARE IF YOU THROW IT UP, YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE IT IF I HAVE TO FORCE
IT DOWN YOU!" Somehow, between heaving, I don't know how, I took the
two Tylenol. Next I felt what seemed to be a bucket of cold water being
thrown over me, but it didn't seem to phase me. Temperature, hot or cold
wasn't bothering me. I was able to tell but had no reaction to it.
He seemed satisfied that my temperature was better. It
was 104.8 when he took it. I heard him call the doctor and then he
proceeded to dress me. He asked me what I wanted to wear. The one time in
my life I didn't really care. So he went to my closet and got the first
things he could put his hands on. A green T-shirt and a maroon jumper.
Yes, lovely. I didn't care. My hair wasn't combed, face not washed, teeth
not brushed. I believe I could have been mistaken for the missing link.
Fred pretty much rolled me out of the house and into the car. He got in
the driver's seat and then did the stupidest thing I have ever seen him
do. He looked at me, went into my purse and handed me a brush. He asked me
to comb my hair. "What?" Like I cared. I was so sick I couldn't
even sit up straight. I'm wearing a puke green T-shirt with a very nice
maroon dress, red shoes, no stockings, no makeup, and haven't done a
single hygienic thing, and he wants me to brush my hair. I simply glared
at him. My glare, must have communicated what I was thinking, as he tossed
the brush to the back seat.
Once at the doctor's office, I did not have to wait.
They ushered me right into a room, probably because they thought I might
scare people off. Yes, it was that bad. I was dehumanized. And I did not
care. Once in the room, they helped me up to that bed/chair like table
they have and I laid down and I believe went to sleep. I used to take my
mom to that doctor all the time and was always very friendly with the
nurse. She is a very outgoing and happy person. I will never forget her
expression when she saw me. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open, and
she looked like she was in shock. It must have been pretty bad. I never
said a word. Just observed these little intricacies before I went to
sleep. Oh, and that dreadful headache. It never went away. I thought I
couldn't stand it.
Then, the doctor came in. I was lying motionless on the
table but heard everything. My husband told her my symptoms. They woke me
up and I told her the best I could what was wrong. This horrible headache.
Starts at the top of my forehead and goes down my neck Tests were done,
but because of my symptoms, a chest x-ray was not taken. The doctor
thought I had viral meningitis. I was told to immediately go to the
hospital and be admitted.
For the next day and a half I was able to hear
everything going on around me. I seemed to have no strength, not even the
strength to open my eyes. It was as if I was confined in the recesses of
my body. I really wasn't scared. My mind was unusually sharp though. I
heard everything with a total clarity. I heard the doctor tell my husband
that they were afraid I would slip into an irreversible coma. That scared
me. I experienced fear. I heard my husband as he called family members
telling them about my condition. I heard everything. I worried. I worried
that the best friend that I had in the whole world didn't know what was
happening to me. I had no way of letting him know. I could not move, I
could not speak I could only worry. I was worried that I might die right
then. Normally, I don't think it would have mattered, but I had just met
my best friend ever, to say the very least, and it mattered. I didn't want
to leave my friend now and so I prayed. I was able to pray and plead and
beg. I had just begun a brand new phase of my life and it couldn't end
this quickly. I had to continue this phase. So I begged and prayed. I
didn't even ask God that his will be done. I merely begged that I not die.
That was the end of my sharp state of mind. From then on I seemed to lose
consciousness or I became barely aware of what was going on around me.
Nurses came to take blood. They couldn't get a hold of the vein, as it was
rolling. I heard them say that. But it didn't hurt. So strange. I did feel
something, but it wasn't the pain of a needle. I just lay perfectly still.
And for once, this didn't bother me at all. After that, I either lost
consciousness or fell asleep. I don't know which one. I was aware that I
might die, and I was not in the least bit happy about it. Maybe on my way
to resignation, but not happy.
I seemed to wake up the next day at noon. This was a
Friday. I woke up and I could move my arms and my legs. It appeared that I
could talk. The first thing that I needed to do was call John and let him
know what had happened and where I was. I seemed to be able to do that
now. But I did not have a computer and other than the computer had no way
of getting in touch with him. So I called my daughter and gave her the
password to my email. I told her to contact everybody and let them know
what happened, and that way I knew that he would be contacted. She said
she would and I finally became at ease. I was being given several
antibiotics by IV as the diagnosis wasn't certain yet. They suspected
viral meningitis or the West Nile Virus. I am one of those type people
that mosquitoes don't bother at all so I thought that rather odd, but then
there might have been one odd mosquito in the bunch. After the tests
started coming in the lung x-ray that a doctor kindly decided to include
in the tests came in. The diagnosis was that I had a severe strain of
pneumonia. The pneumonia that I had is the worse strain to date. It is
called the killer pneumonia. In fact, those of you that get a pneumonia
shot because you have weak lungs and are susceptible to disease, this shot
is given to prevent exactly this one pneumonia strain. I still was not
comforted, as I still was afraid I might die and so was the doctor. Before
this particular incident I had a favorite quote that I used to throw
around. I'm not even sure if it is my quote or if I heard it somewhere. It
was, "Live today to its fullest because God doesn't promise you
tomorrow." And I had come face-to-face with the fact that my tomorrow
wasn't necessarily promised to me and that I might have indeed already
died, maybe, if I hadn't prayed. I did have a certain comfort after I
prayed that I would pull through this, but I was still very scared. I had
just lost my mother in July. This was November. Had my life remained the
same as it was after I lost her, I would have, indeed been ready to move
on. I might have just relaxed and let go thinking it was my time. But not
with these new events that had just opened up. No. I had more to
experience, and I did want to experience them, right or wrong. I did not
want to be cheated out of it.
Every day that passed, I was aware that I was alive and
that my fever was steadily dropping, but I would not relax yet. I was not
ready to let down my guard, and the days went by, one by one. I spent time
with my best friend through a laptop computer. That was the only time I
was happy. The relationship was new, so I call him my best friend, but I
knew then as I know now that I loved him deeply, as I had finally met my
soul mate. It couldn't be possible that I would be snatched from this
earth upon just meeting my soul mate and not really getting to know him.
It seemed so terribly unfair. So slowly, the days passed, one by one. I
got to know the nurses' schedules and what nurse I would have on what day.
When that starts to happen, you've been in the hospital much too long. And
after a few days I felt that I was out of the woods and that I would,
indeed, live, although the doctor had told me the recovery would be very
slow. I was in the hospital for nine days and then I was discharged. I
wasn't discharged because I was well, I was discharged because now the
danger had passed and they were sure I would live. So I went home and
slowly recovered. There were times when I would become quite concerned, as
I felt so incredibly weak and that brought back the fear of death, that I
might really not make it after all. So for once in my life, I did not push
myself. If I felt weak, I did nothing and rested. Little by little I
recuperated until I regained my strength and my health.
I tell this story for two reasons. The first is to make
you realize what you think of when faced with imminent death. I know I am
not the only one that has gone through this. What about those who die in
an air crash? Those few moments before impact must be dreadfully long. And
those people have lives and new adventures and new loves, all to end in an
instant. The same with car accidents, and illnesses. There are so many
different ways that people look death in the face. This is the story of
how I reacted. How would you react? Are we ever ready to die? Some people
yes, some people no. My mother, bless her heart, at 88 years old, when a
heart attack took her was not ready. Her body was ravaged by disease, but
she was not ready, and I watched as she was snatched from me suddenly,
ready or not.
The second reason is to let you know how devastating
this sort of thing can be if you do not have health insurance. I did not
have health insurance at this time. I had cared for my mother for four
years. She came first and I came the very last. Her medical expenses were
such that wiped both her and me out and I was just starting to stand on my
own two feet when this occurred. So, yes I am one of those who have a
massive doctor and hospital bill for the privilege of being alive. I pay
them faithfully every month, knowing really that money isn't everything
and that I will be fine one way or another. I have my best friend and love
and that is the only thing that truly matters.
A couple of months after this incident I would join a
medical discount program that had I had then would have helped immensely.
With my illness and hospital stay it would have still been very expensive
but it would have been about half of what it is now. In further articles I
will point out how the FGG Medical Program has helped and benefited
me in other unforeseen circumstances http://www.luellamay.fggweb.com/
and I know the difference of going through an illness without it and going
through an accident with it. It has been night and day. So for now, those
of you that have no insurance, you never know when your health will fail
or when an accident will occur. I am writing this so that you may be
prepared and take steps toward protecting your best interests. I will
include a link below. I invite you to go in and study the medical plan. I
will tell you that if you are not insured, it is the best one available.
http://www.luellamay.fggweb.com/
Luella MayŠ2006
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Luella May is the Editor and co-founder of The Corner 4 Women http://thecorner4women.com
and also runs our blog http://thecorner4women.blogspot.com.
Luella is a currently also a representative of FGG and invites you
to find out more about their benefits to you http://www.luellamay.fggweb.com/
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